Alone 1
by couldwellbein
Summary: GS. Sara's feelings after seeing Grisom with another woman. Angsty towards the end.


**What else do you do when your in the car with no internet access and bored out of your skull on a 2 hour journey? Write this of course :)**

She stood there, alone. The rain was pouring all around her. She made no effort to get under cover. In fact, she had just walked out of the building, got into her car, drove for about 10 minutes and pulled up in the park. The wind was blowing so hard, she had to squint to see. This however didn't stop her from her goal, whatever that was. She turned to her left, and noticing a bench, decided to sit down. The cold water from the bench soaked through her already wet jeans. She didnt care.

She sat there alone. Alone is what she'd been for most of her life. Alone is what she'd probably be for the rest of her life. After all, only _she _could choose a man that was emotionally unavailable. She was quite pathetic really. Longing for this man who unintentionallly hurt her, who obviously prefered blondes. Yet she couldnt get over this man, this amazing, brilliant man. And so when she'd heard the roumers around the lab that he was dating someone, she couldnt believe it. Nobody realised that everytime someone came into the room talking about it, the pain she felt was unbearable. He knew how she felt, and he probably knew that it was tearing her up inside. But he didn't say anything. Not to her any way.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, alone. She still couldn't believe what had happened just fifteen minutes previously, when she has dropped the box of evidence she was carrying in the middle of the corridor, glass shattering, unidentified liquids contaminated and destroyed. It wasn't her fault, really. She hadn't expected to see some woman kissing the cheek of the man she loved. Like that wasn't a slap in the face. She just wanted to get out of there, run away and never have to see him again. She couldnt live like this.

She didn't want to feel alone. But it was all she ever felt lately. Even in the lab, when she was in the break room. Warrick and Nick placing bets against each other, Greg flirting with some girl on the phone, Catherine and Grissom sat talking about a recent case. They were her family, or so she thought. She'd always felt the love when she was in the room, but recently she felt seperated from it. Belonging was such a distant feeling for her. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe there was something wrong with her, She didn't want to admit to that though. Blaming someone else made her feel better, didn't it?

As the rain continued pour she stood up, a single emotion flowing through her veins. She was determined. If she was going to be alone, she would mark the occasion somehow. She walked quickly towards her car, water soaking up through the bottom of her trousers. As she closed the door, she noticed her phone on the passengers seat. vibrating. She picked it up, recognising the number immidiatly. _Grissom_. When he had given up with the call, she opened the phone up to see 7 missed calls from Grissom, one from Catherine, 2 from Nick and Warrick and 3 from Greg. She threw the phone back onto the seat and started the engine. As she drove to the shop, only on word repeated itself in her mind,

_Alone_. She grabbed a couple of cases of beer, a bottle of vodka and walked to the checkout, pulling out some money and paying quickly. She pulled up outside her apartment and killed the engine. she sat in silence, staring at the alcohol in the seat beside her. Sadness filled her. In doing this, it was admitting that it wasn't going to happen between them. After tonight, she would have to leave. Things between her and Gissom were too bad to return to anyway. This was another excuse for her to go. She picked up the bag beside her and closed the car door, locking it with a shaky hand. If this is what he had brought her too, then she was better off without him.

_Several hours later_

A knocking brough her out of her daze. Rubbing at her eyes she sat up, knocking an empty bottle over. She looked around her, counting 8 or 9 bottles on the floor. She hiccuped and checked her watch; _2:13am. _Groaning she tried standing up, but immidiatly lost her balance and fell to the floor, landing onto a bottle and smashing it. She winced as a shard of glass dug deep into her hand. Again there was a knocking. Realising that it was the door she stood up carefully, holding onto the sofa. She made it to the door and looked out to see who it was. Shit.

"Go away Grissom" she said, loud enough for him to hear.

"Sara, please open up. I think we need to talk"

"Talk! Why now after all this time? You thought that Id been humiliated enough now."

Silence followed her comment. She rested her head on the cool wooden door, the contact soothing her head as she felt a headache forming.

"Please let me in. I need to know that your okay."

"Oh Im fine Griss. Super, smashing, fantasticly over the moon great. See?"

She opened the door quickly, cold air blasting her face. He looked up to see a drunk Sara Sidle, grinning sarcastically at him.

"There. Now if you dont mind, Im busy, so-" she tried closing the door, but Grissom but his foot in the doorway. He pushed open the door as she stormed inside, unable to walk in a straight line. She pulled out a first aid box, trying to find something to stop the bleeding. Grissom noticed the bleeding too, and closed the door quickly behind him.

"Sara" he said "what have you done?"

He noticed the broken glass on the floor He walked into her kitchen and pulled out a dustpan and brush to sweep it up. When he walked back into the room, he noticed that she had one hand holding down the tissue, and her head resting ontop of her hands. He sighed as he sweeped up the glass. Placing it too the side, he sat on the sofa next to her.

"Why are you doing this?" Silence. "If there's something wrong you know you can tell me." Again, silence. "Come on dear, speak to me. Is it something _I've _done?"

She shivered at the use of the word dear. _Oh no he isn't. _She turned to face him.

"Don't" she said angrily. "Don't think that you can just barge into here and pretend that you haven't done anything!" She tried standing up, but when she took a step forward, she immidiatly fell to the floor, her head smashing against the sofa as she collapsed. Grissom immidiatly pulled out his phone.

"Sara? Sara!!" he shouted as dialled for an ambulance. He pulled her up and lay her head onto his lap. Her forehead was dripping with cold sweat and the bleeding from her hand still hadn't stopped. He picked up another nearby tissue and put pressure on her injury, whilt giving her adress to the woman on the other end of the phone.

10 minutes passed before he heard the sirens. By now he had pulled her up and had laid her on the bed. He had planned this out. He lifted her up like a sleeping child and opened the door with his foot. He carried her down the few steps to the car park as the medics came rushing over with a board to put her on. He gently laid her down and rushed back to her apartment, grabbing his keys, his coat and her keys and locked the door. He rushed back down to the ambulance where they were just loading her onto it. He told them he would be following in his car, as much as he wanted to ride with her. He pulled out of the car park in the direction of the hospital, in silence.

Alone...

**I was going to continue this on, couple more chapters showing their feelings etc etc. Maybe a bit of lovin'? Remember, reviews make this young writer feel good :)**


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